Blink-blink-blink
There was a fast little blinking on the screen of the ultrasound machine today. So, we have a heart beat!!! There is, clearer now (a better machine), a second sac as well, but it is smaller than the "shadow" was before and has nothing inside it (not sure if I mentioned the "shadow" to you all, but there was a strange shadow on the screen last time that the doctor couldn't identify). So while it looks like I TRIED to have twins, I was blessed with one. I'll take one, I'm not greedy. I am in fact VERY happy to have a heartbeat!!!
Mr. Miracle has his articulation study today for his speech stuff. After this study and the next play based assessment in the first or second week of February...and after a wait of 486 billion years...we should know if he will get any more help or if all of his still needed help falls on us and our not so robust finances. Hopefully, I can get them to move at light speed (for them anyway) and get us that answer before he turns three and loses all of his state funded help.
I am unhappy about one thing though. The nurse practitioner is supposed to do some "routine cultures" when I go in next time (February 21). These "routine cultures" include: pap smear, gonorrhea, chlamydia, etc. Now, my problem is that I ALWAYS bleed after I have a pap smear. It's a guaranteed thing. The only thing that will vary is how badly I will bleed and how much cramping and pain will go along with it. I have been tested for EVERY STD you can imagine (and probably several you can't). Most of them within the last one to three years when the endo kicked back up after I had Mr.Miracle and the doctor wanted to make sure AGAIN that I didn't have something ELSE wrong ::sigh::
Now, perhaps it is already clear why I'm a little antsy about these cultures. But for those who can't follow me, bleeding and pregnancy are NOT good companions. The bleeding results in a VERY scared and VERY stressed out me, add cramping in there and I'm going to be an all out fucking wreck. Probably because of the four losses leading up to this so far good pregnancy...but who's counting right? Yes, I know, some of you (including Mr. NeverExMarine) are probably thinking "but if you KNOW you're going to bleed and cramp, why would you worry about it?" Here let me refresh your memory - FOUR LOSSES LEADING UP TO THIS THUS FAR STICKY BEATING BLOB! Clear enough? Four losses that began with cramping and bleeding...four losses that left me wondering why I bother to try (which is NOT, contrary to popular belief, for the "drama" of trying to conceive...it is because I want another baby, nobody bothers fertile people with why they want another baby, so butt the fuck out!).
So, I'm wondering what you all think. Here are the choices, or feel free to supply your own.
(a) Quit whining and do what the doctor tells you! A ton of people would kill to be in your shoes, stupid bitch!
(b) Think it over carefully, with a clear head, and talk with NeverExMarine, and maybe a few friends as well, then when you go tell the nurse practitioner your worries. Allow her to try to convince you to feel more secure and okay with having the cultures done. If she can't make you feel better then tell her NO and make sure you walk out of there if she tries to pressure you otherwise. If she does make you feel better, and if or when any bleeding or cramping occurs, have in place a support system...and the doctor on speed dial...to reassure you that everything is fine.
(c) Tell the nurse practitioner hell fucking no, the last thing you need is somebody fucking around in there and scaring the hell out of you!
(d) Choose your own adventure...I mean answer....can we tell I was 80s child?
Mr. Miracle has his articulation study today for his speech stuff. After this study and the next play based assessment in the first or second week of February...and after a wait of 486 billion years...we should know if he will get any more help or if all of his still needed help falls on us and our not so robust finances. Hopefully, I can get them to move at light speed (for them anyway) and get us that answer before he turns three and loses all of his state funded help.
I am unhappy about one thing though. The nurse practitioner is supposed to do some "routine cultures" when I go in next time (February 21). These "routine cultures" include: pap smear, gonorrhea, chlamydia, etc. Now, my problem is that I ALWAYS bleed after I have a pap smear. It's a guaranteed thing. The only thing that will vary is how badly I will bleed and how much cramping and pain will go along with it. I have been tested for EVERY STD you can imagine (and probably several you can't). Most of them within the last one to three years when the endo kicked back up after I had Mr.Miracle and the doctor wanted to make sure AGAIN that I didn't have something ELSE wrong ::sigh::
Now, perhaps it is already clear why I'm a little antsy about these cultures. But for those who can't follow me, bleeding and pregnancy are NOT good companions. The bleeding results in a VERY scared and VERY stressed out me, add cramping in there and I'm going to be an all out fucking wreck. Probably because of the four losses leading up to this so far good pregnancy...but who's counting right? Yes, I know, some of you (including Mr. NeverExMarine) are probably thinking "but if you KNOW you're going to bleed and cramp, why would you worry about it?" Here let me refresh your memory - FOUR LOSSES LEADING UP TO THIS THUS FAR STICKY BEATING BLOB! Clear enough? Four losses that began with cramping and bleeding...four losses that left me wondering why I bother to try (which is NOT, contrary to popular belief, for the "drama" of trying to conceive...it is because I want another baby, nobody bothers fertile people with why they want another baby, so butt the fuck out!).
So, I'm wondering what you all think. Here are the choices, or feel free to supply your own.
(a) Quit whining and do what the doctor tells you! A ton of people would kill to be in your shoes, stupid bitch!
(b) Think it over carefully, with a clear head, and talk with NeverExMarine, and maybe a few friends as well, then when you go tell the nurse practitioner your worries. Allow her to try to convince you to feel more secure and okay with having the cultures done. If she can't make you feel better then tell her NO and make sure you walk out of there if she tries to pressure you otherwise. If she does make you feel better, and if or when any bleeding or cramping occurs, have in place a support system...and the doctor on speed dial...to reassure you that everything is fine.
(c) Tell the nurse practitioner hell fucking no, the last thing you need is somebody fucking around in there and scaring the hell out of you!
(d) Choose your own adventure...I mean answer....can we tell I was 80s child?
posted by Hostile in Ohio | 1/30/2006
1 Comments:
Aww I'm so excited for you Angela!!!
I say go with #2. The doctor should be able to help relieve some of your worries and if you put her on speed dial ;) Tell her to be ready for LOTS of calls during that week!
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