Sometimes I wonder...
Sometimes I get these crazy ideas. Right now, I think I'm pregnant. Why you might ask? Well I'm exhausted. So tired I can hardly function. I'm sleeping a TON, so it's not sleep deprivation...and there is the nausea in the morning and afternoon, but I'm okay by dinner (just like last time with Mr. Miracle ).
I know, it is wishful thinking. I'm on day 38 of my cycle, so even if I am pregnant, I can't test for a little while longer. What you say, isn't that 10 days late?? HAH! My cycles are currently running around 45 days. I don't rely on that though since my cycles change with the wind. Apparently, they get bored, so they like to mix it up a little every so often (usually around the time I figure it out, it changes). Which is REALLY fucking frustrating! Especially now that I'm trying to get pregnant.
I monitor my cervical fluid, BBT, and stay in the "right" position after sex (which for me is on my stomach since my uterus and cervix are "backwards"). So far, it's only been three months - hmm, periods or cycles would be better - it has been three cycles (or 45x3=135 days). The doctors started telling me I needed Clomid the instant I mentioned TRYING to get pregnant again. I tell them I haven't been trying very long, give me a break...maybe I'm being overly optomistic though.
Why does my body do this crazy shit? Why is my body all screwed up, not to mention BACKWARDS?
Oh yes, seriously backwards though. My uterus points towards my back instead of my belly, which makes internal ultrasounds WAY more fun (read painful, "please stomp on my pelvic area with BOTH feet" type of fun). My cervix/uterus are also called "retroverted." Yeah, baby - I'm SO retro! Not even.
I've also got endometriosis. Double the fun. It was treated byburning laproscopic excision and the hell on earth of being slowly roasted over an open fire hormone therapy with Lupron injections. The problems I experienced due to the endometriosis (painful intercourse, bleeding after intercourse, and massive hemorrhaging heavy periods) were gone for a while, but have decided to come back recently.
I also have a "friable" cervix. Whatever the fuck that means. No, wait I DO know what it means. It means that my cervix when bumped, jostled, or otherwise messed with likes to bleed - HEAVILY. Makes pap smear interesting. I always like to torment a new person that way. "Oh my GOD!!! I'm BLEEDING!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??!! ::snicker:: They flip out, I laugh hysterically. Apparently, my cervix acts this way for no known reason (i.e. I don't have HPV, or any other STD that could be the cause). Not to mention that the bleeding makes trying for another child ever so much fun...
Picture it - or don't it's kind of gross - my poor dh flipping the fuck out because he's suddenly covered in blood because...oops, he bumped my cervix a little too hard...
That problem made my first pregnancy full of fun because I would spot at the drop of a hat. Talk about flipping the fuck out. I was frequently terrified I was miscarrying...
I had a ton of tests done, but it was all because of my wonky cervix. And yes, that is the technical term - wonky.
I know, it is wishful thinking. I'm on day 38 of my cycle, so even if I am pregnant, I can't test for a little while longer. What you say, isn't that 10 days late?? HAH! My cycles are currently running around 45 days. I don't rely on that though since my cycles change with the wind. Apparently, they get bored, so they like to mix it up a little every so often (usually around the time I figure it out, it changes). Which is REALLY fucking frustrating! Especially now that I'm trying to get pregnant.
I monitor my cervical fluid, BBT, and stay in the "right" position after sex (which for me is on my stomach since my uterus and cervix are "backwards"). So far, it's only been three months - hmm, periods or cycles would be better - it has been three cycles (or 45x3=135 days). The doctors started telling me I needed Clomid the instant I mentioned TRYING to get pregnant again. I tell them I haven't been trying very long, give me a break...maybe I'm being overly optomistic though.
Why does my body do this crazy shit? Why is my body all screwed up, not to mention BACKWARDS?
Oh yes, seriously backwards though. My uterus points towards my back instead of my belly, which makes internal ultrasounds WAY more fun (read painful, "please stomp on my pelvic area with BOTH feet" type of fun). My cervix/uterus are also called "retroverted." Yeah, baby - I'm SO retro! Not even.
I've also got endometriosis. Double the fun. It was treated by
I also have a "friable" cervix. Whatever the fuck that means. No, wait I DO know what it means. It means that my cervix when bumped, jostled, or otherwise messed with likes to bleed - HEAVILY. Makes pap smear interesting. I always like to torment a new person that way. "Oh my GOD!!! I'm BLEEDING!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??!! ::snicker:: They flip out, I laugh hysterically. Apparently, my cervix acts this way for no known reason (i.e. I don't have HPV, or any other STD that could be the cause). Not to mention that the bleeding makes trying for another child ever so much fun...
Picture it - or don't it's kind of gross - my poor dh flipping the fuck out because he's suddenly covered in blood because...oops, he bumped my cervix a little too hard...
That problem made my first pregnancy full of fun because I would spot at the drop of a hat. Talk about flipping the fuck out. I was frequently terrified I was miscarrying...
I had a ton of tests done, but it was all because of my wonky cervix. And yes, that is the technical term - wonky.
posted by Hostile in Ohio | 5/27/2005
1 Comments:
Being a woman is so, so overrated!
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