Secondary Infertility

So I'm reading Tertia's blog today and I'm thinking that I can sort of relate to what she's saying, not completely of course, because nothing I've experienced comes even close to the losses she has suffered (my sincerest sympathy to her and her family on the loss of Ben, Luke, and Hannah). I get to the comments and I'm reading a comment by Kate (2nd comment). She says:

"As someone going through secondary infertility, a lot of the anger I experience is directly at myself. My body worked before, why won't it now? Is this some kind of sick joke being played on me by mother nature?
"Yet there is still anger at others. I get a lot of "just be happy with what you have." The pain of secondary infertility is dismissed and blown off. I should just be grateful for having kids, and poo-poo this notion of wanting more. The longing is still there, the pain is acute.
"...With secondary, people seem to think we don't have the right to mourn or feel cheated or be angry because we are already blessed with children."

I sit back in my chair and think, wow, that's IT! That's what I haven't been able to put into words. I can't say this any clearer than that she hit the nail square on the head. This is EXACTLY it.

Nearly all of my anger is directed at myself too. What in the hell happened, you worked once damnit, why won't you work now?! What kind of sick joke is this anyway??!!! Here I go thinking everything is going to be just fine now, but what? Nope, the rug gets pulled out from under me again. Once apparently isn't enough, the universe has to watch me fall several times!

However, I'm also angry with other people. Why can't people understand that we (secondary infertiles) have as much right to feel CHEATED and angry like anybody else?! Think about a person who has been blind for their entire life, yes it's hard and yes they have to work, but imagine how hard it is for the person who saw just fine for years and then suddenly went completely blind...

Just think about it.